Rev Janet Callahan

Priestess and Author

Accessibility

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Last year, about this time, I was listening to friends prep for Convocation and the last ever Pantheacon. I planned to attend neither, other than a quick walk through the vendors and the art show at Convocation.

Why? Mostly because I needed the vacation days (hahahaha – how naive it was to think we were going anywhere in 2020). I wasn’t teaching (my class acceptance rate is less than 20%, so it’s always a toss up, even when I submit multiple classes), as to whether or not I’ll teach anything. And if I’m not teaching, then the question of priorities shifts more towards staying home

One of the things I really did start thinking about was what it would take for my kids to go to Convocation. At a minimum, they need extra adult supervision. And to be fair, when I’m the source of that supervision, I can’t do much of anything else.

But then I wondered, “What else? Does anyone have an inclusive, accessible program?”

No. No Pagan group that I’ve found in the US does, and while the UK’s Pagan Federation does a lot of work with families and those with disabilities, it’s not clear to me that their programs are really set up for any needs, just the kids that they expect to be there.

I’ve spent a year reading, gathering notes, listing the sorts of resources needed (if you follow me on Patreon, you’ve seen some of this work). Doing it in a Pandemic has just been weird – there is no place to go test theories, no festivals to benchmark in person.

The next step is to write it up, along with the materials I’ve been thinking about. I’ve been working on a more general children’s programming guide, too. Finishing both, while getting our formal church up and running, is a big part of this year’s plan.

Hopefully with more writing.

Check out my new energy work page, http://www.facebook.com/GoodVibrationsEnergyStudio

On Sage and Granite

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I found myself wondering lately why so many crystal healing courses focus on such a wide variety of stones from all over, when we know that most of them are strip mined, and use slave labor to do the work.

Part of it, I suspect, is that we like “pretty” stones, and the exotic nature of stones that we can’t get just anywhere adds to their mystique.

But part is that we’ve forgotten our roots. Our ancestors who did this work had, for the most part, what they could find within a few miles of where they lived. Sure, there were special plants that grew in special places far away, and special stones, but if you can’t depend on being able to source that item, depending on it for regular use is not sustainable.

Also, there’s the issue of sales: the more you talk up a certain stone or herb, the higher the price tag you can put on whatever’s coming straight out of the ground. And for all that there’s a theme among a certain type of witch that you shouldn’t pay for training…the truth is, that’s one of the few things you absolutely should be paying for. Knowledge will serve you well, even after you’ve lost that shiny crystal, and even after you’ve burned that smudge stick.

White sage, too, comes up for discussion a lot. I’m not sure when or where we moved from “sage” to white sage, and only white sage. But now we’re at a point where in some areas it’s endangered…and it’s not even the only reasonable option for what people think it does. Whether it actually clears everything out of a space is debated widely, but that’s not the understanding most of the Indigenous elders I’ve talked to over the years have.

In that respect, too – is smudging appropriation? What most Pagan folk do when they say they’re smudging isn’t what I was taught by my Lakota elders, so in that respect, you can say that you’re doing it, but it’s not “smudging” the way that Indigenous folks do it.

I actually have more beef with the word itself than the practices people call smudging.In Lakota, we have a perfectly good word for the ritual burning of herbs. The Europeans who came here also had perfectly good words for this task – both the Catholic church and the Anglican church use incense extensively – but that’s not the word that the explorers used. They use a word that implies building a smoky fire or making things dirty (or both).

My Lakota elders tell me that we should not sell medicines (and medicine is a complex concept, encompassing things that help us live better lives, body, mind, and soul). But they also tell me that each medicine has its own ritual, and if you do not know the ritual and the teachings, the medicine will not work for you. Most Indigenous tribes didn’t sell things – they traded, and they gave things away, because having the most things wasn’t the mark of a good leader. Good leaders share their wealth in order to improve the whole community. Much like the idea that you shouldn’t pay for knowledge of witchcraft and the gods, but with a stronger moral background about what giving things away gives you. Still, there was energy exchange, because that’s how a community or tribe or band worked.

Really, everything you need for just about any sort of spellwork can be found close to home – there are always multiple plants, stones, and other things that will do what you need to do, without importing some expensive bit of whatever that you’re only going to use the once, because you’re going to bag it all up and bury it or put it in a jar or whatever.

In short: it doesn’t take a ton of money. It takes some learning, and some exploring. You have all that you need at your fingertips.

Check out my new energy work page, http://www.facebook.com/GoodVibrationsEnergyStudio

Mama’s Magic Meltdown Kit

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One of the things most parents run into, sooner or later, is a child who has lost control of their emotional state, and is so upset that they cannot pull themselves together.

Some people call this a meltdown.

I’ve seen more than my fair share – after all, I have 2 autistic kids, and even typical kids have meltdowns, but mine have a few extra challenges stacked against them.

And let’s be real – sometimes it’s the adults having a meltdown, not the kids.

A while back, I started putting together a little kit of things to use to help when they happen, because in the heat of the moment, it’s sometimes hard to think of all the things we’re supposed to do. And I figure I’ll share it with you, because you probably run into the same sorts of situations from time to time.

First, one good way to calm down is to breathe. Maybe it’s just my kids and their formerly trached selves, but breathing on demand is *hard* for them. Even more so when they’re out of sorts. You need to make those deep cleansing breaths more interesting. Try bubbles, a pinwheel, or (for use under close supervision), blowing out candles over and over. All of these are favorites at our house, but candles are a big deal – very motivating.

Another good thing to try is calming music. Put a CD in your kit, or make a playlist on your favorite music service online.

We use Reiki a lot for overwrought kids. I Reiki myself when I’m upset, and for older kids who have had a Reiki I attunement, being able to self-Reiki will be a great way to help them gain control of their emotions.

Another frequent choice at our house is flower essences. Bach’s Rescue Remedy comes in an alcohol free kids version (if you’re really worried about the 4 drops you’re going to give them), and pastilles, which are sort of like candy. I work almost exclusively these days with essences from Nature’s Remedies (and carry them in my shop), and we use their crisis blend, peace blend, or anxiety blend, depending on the situation. I have considered putting these in a bit of honey in a section of plastic straw and carry in your bag or pocket.

Stones can help ground out the energy of a meltdown too – I have a pair of baseball-sized bloodstone spheres that I use for this purpose when doing Reiki or other healing sessions, and as long as you keep your child from throwing them, they work well for helping them calm down too.

“Calm Down Jars” as they’re called on pinterest can help too – those jars or bottles with glitter and water. Shake them up, set them down, and sit down and watch the glitter fall back to the bottom, like snow falling in a snow globe. The mind follows the glitter, and settles down too.

Other things you might want in your kit include herbs, biofeedback tools (like Touch Points), essential oils, a cuddly stuffed animal, bean bags to throw, or a weighted blanket or lap pad.

Finally, make a list of the tools, or put each on a card and put a ring through them all so that it’s easy to remember what the options are. Now, put all your items in a box or basket (or even a real tool box or tackle box) and label it, so you’re ready to pull it out when you need it!

Check out my new energy work page, http://www.facebook.com/GoodVibrationsEnergyStudio

Why are events for Pagan families so hard to staff?

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Recently, I got introduced to some other Pagan parents who were looking for…well, mentoring might be a good word. They were interested in writing for Pagan parents and Pagan kids, and we got to talking about events that have programming tracks for Pagan youth, and how that works or doesn’t work, and why some books get more publicity than others.

And we talked about why it’s often difficult to get people to submit children’s programming at family friendly events.

I had some ideas on this, but I decided to ask in one of the big Pagan Parenting groups I’m in, and a lot of their answers paralleled my own experiences.

One thing that came up repeatedly was that programming and babysitting are two different activities, and most events treat them the same…as do many parents. Kids programming is often seen as a place to park your child while you do something you’d like to do instead. While there’s space for this, the event needs to be clear on what they’re providing.

There need to be clear rules about how children are expected to behave in the children’s area, and a way to reach parents whose children aren’t acting in accordance with those rules. There is a balance to be had between “free range” parenting that allows children to go wherever they want to go, and the liability that the venue and organizers may have if something happens to a child.

And if what an event is providing really is childcare, they need to consider providing, at a minimum, materials required for the activities involved. It may not have occurred to the organizers if they don’t have small children, but child care is expensive, and if that’s what an event is really providing, it may be worth charging for that service and hiring a company to provide it.

Another thing that came up repeatedly is that children’s programming really is often different than programming for adults, and those presenting need to understand that. Presenters who want kids to sit down and listen for their entire 45 minute (or more) block are not likely to be as successful as someone who is flexible, keeps attention spans in mind, and uses movement, song, and story-telling together to create a multi-sensory environment.

One complaint that came up several times was that it often seemed that parents took children’s’ programming and events for granted. They were frequently late, if they showed up at all, and getting a consistent group going was a struggle because of this. At larger events, parents often send their children in the direction of the kids’ area, without any expectation that they will get there or stay there.

I’d argue, from a parent’s perspective, that as a mom with two autistic children, we struggle to find activities that are set up in a way they can actually participate, even with hands-on 1:1 help. Managing kids’ energy is much like managing ritual energy, and I rarely see that in events in the community, which makes most programming a non-starter for us.

So then, the question is, what do we do with this info? How do we create sustainable family friendly programming for all ages, when we all have different opinions of what it should look like? How do we make our events safe without making them too confining? How do we learn to be a true community and share the workload?

I think the first task is to have that discussion. What does the local community need or want? Who is willing to organize, and what are the parameters required to make it work?

I would love to hear what’s working for you and your community.

Originally published March 19, 2019, on paganbusinesnetwork.com

Check out my new energy work page, http://www.facebook.com/GoodVibrationsEnergyStudio

What is Clergy, Anyway?

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what our initiations mean, and what “being clergy” means when you’re not part of an active, structured worship group (like a coven, or kindred, or church, or whatever). Christian folks use minister, clergy, pastor, and a few other terms almost interchangeably, and priest is only used in a few specific situations….but we’re different.

priestess in a circle of stars and swirling colors

We talk about everyone being a priest or priestess – everyone is capable of reaching out to the divine and interceding for themselves, without someone standing in between them and a specific deity.

We also talk about priests and priestesses serving specific gods, the way temple keepers would have in the old days. It’s a form of dedication to that specific deity, in service to them.

We talk about clergy when we mean, “able to serve as clergy in the legal sense” – weddings, mostly, but sometimes funerals, hospital visits, and maybe house blessings. Sometimes we use the word ordained here, or ordained minister, because it’s “official”…but anyone can be ordained by the ULC, so I often wonder what this word really gets us [1]

Ministers…minister. They tend to the spiritual needs of the flock. They do sick calls, they pray with people, they help people who are struggling with faith.

And as pastor, they’re also the leader of the congregation. That’s a lot of jobs to put on one person, and it’s no wonder that so many Christian groups struggle with finding people who can really do all these things.

One of the things that we don’t talk about is teaching. In most other religions, those who are worship leaders are also teachers of that faith. Our teaching is more decentralized, more squishy. Frequently, students are asked to teach as part of their training – learning how to teach by example, and learning more about their subjects as they teach. Even when our working group teaches, we learn at festivals and at events and go to individual workshops and read books and websites – so many incoming sources of information!

And teaching is one of the things I’ve done a lot of over the years. It’s become a focus of mine over the last few, because I so often feel that those formalized learning opportunities are missing as we Pagan folk become less centralized and more and more solitary with occasional group rituals.

It’s one of the reasons I’m opening Lady Arianrhod’s Magical Academy – teaching is a passion of mine, and while there’s lots of good information out there if you google, you have to sort through and figure out what’s credible (just today, someone asked about runes in one of the groups I’m in, complaining that different sources say different things, and how do they figure it out?)

So, head on over, check out the classes currently available, and consider our introductory offer – I’ll likely do a sale for a year’s worth of membership later this year. There are more offerings coming for members too, which will not be released as separate courses.

This is my focus this year – the Academy and the Magical Moms Club – so let’s make 2019 a great year!

[1] Which is not to detract from the ULC, mind you – they serve an important role, and now that the circle that initiated me as a high priestess, capable of running a circle, and capable of legally acting as clergy no longer exists, I have an ordination from them to help manage the state’s requirements.

Check out my new energy work page, http://www.facebook.com/GoodVibrationsEnergyStudio