I’ve got a workshop I do from time to time on why groups fail. One of the things I talk about is group stability. What makes a group hold together, and what makes it fall apart.

There are lots of articles and lists out there that tell you what sort of things to look out for when choosing a Pagan group to work with. The Coven Abuse Self Help Index (CASHI) and the Advanced Bonewits’ Cult Danger Evaluation Frame  are the two most frequently referenced.

One thing I’ve noticed a lot on this subject that doesn’t seem to be in either of those documents is that the leadership (be it rotating elected leaders, or a dedicated High Priest and/or High Priestess) need to follow the things they’ve said the group will do. That is, the group needs a mission statement that guides decisions and it needs leaders who do what they say they are going to do.  If not, you should consider avoiding the group, because otherwise you will be caught up in their drama

I really believe that groups need a statement of what they are and what they’re doing. Without that purpose, what’s the point of the group existing? Furthermore, the purpose needs to be the driving force behind the group’s choices – are you really doing what the group is meant to do, or are you pulling it off course.

Leaders who change the direction of the group without input of those that are supposed to have input are bad leaders. Frankly, changing the direction of the group without consulting most of the group, whether or not they are in the chain of command, is bad leadership.

Leaders need to lead. If they drop things in someone else’s lap (rather than delegating appropriately), they can’t complain about the way the job gets done later. If you’re teaching people to lead, teach by example, and by giving them small opportunities first, then bigger ones, rather than throwing them into the deep end of the pool and hoping they make it back out.

If a group has guidelines on advancement, they should be followed. Playing favorites isn’t a good way for a group to be stable, it just breeds resentment. Worse, initiating people just so they’ll stay in the group, even when they aren’t ready, does no one any favors – not the initiate, and not those already initiated into the group. If attendance is required, then it’s required, unless there are other provisions for make-ups. Without consistency here, the group has no assurances that its initiates are actually all at the same level, or all capable of the work presented for a given event.

I have no problem with occasional exceptions to the rules, when every decision is an exception, the rules are meaningless. If the rules are meaningless, why are there rules to begin with? And if there are no rules, what’s the point of the group? And isn’t that the whole point of group stability

I’ve spent some time thinking lately about how to organize my thoughts in a way that will explain the things I believe. I’ve thought about how I would teach someone else to do what I do. And honestly, I’m somewhat at a loss. This is experiential – it’s not something I can always explain, nor is it the kind of thing where I can just say, ‘believe this, and everything will work out.’

I’ve thought about the religious education of my childhood, to see if there were themes I ought to follow, or logic there to guide me, but as a child, religion came from a book, and this…is not the same. As a child, the story from the Bible was read to us, and we were told what important things we should gain from this story. When I was older, teaching came by way of reading Bible passages, and discussing; we were led by a pastor who told us when we were right or wrong.

I find myself suddenly understanding my grandmother’s statement, back when I was 10, that she couldn’t teach me how to sew, but that she would watch me sew, and then show me how it could be better. I thought it was one of the stupidest things I’d ever heard back then; now I see the truth of the statement.

This is a religion of doing, not a religion of talking, or reading, or sitting back and watching the movie of life play out in front of us. Not that these things aren’t important, but that the action of doing them, and soaking up the information, in a way that it can be put to use, is something more holistic than just sitting and hearing a lecture.

And so, maybe the things I do are the place to start, and explain what’s behind those things as I go.

Since the last update, I have:

• Added more than a dozen links to groups, other blogs, artists, writers, and Pagan resources
• Added recommended links to books at amazon.com
• Updated the workshops page, including a few more hands-on type classes
• Deleted a ton of spam comments
• Posted 2 new essays (which makes 3 months in a row that I posted actual material – that may be a new record for me)
• Updated the work-in-progress page again, with the announcement of a publication date for Manifesting Prosperity

As a reminder, we’ll be vending at Convocation this year, February 21-24. I’m looking for a few other good venues that are reasonably local for this year as well.